How to be a Woman of Value & Believe it.


Being a woman of value could mean a bunch of different things to different people. Some people feel It changes depending on working class or society rankings. It changes based on the kind of woman others perceive you to be or the wife or mother you are..but I'm writing this to tell you, its not how others perceive you, its how you carry yourself and how you feel about your true self. Most importantly, t's how you make others feel. It's that magnetic feelings others get when they are around you, because they too want to feel the inner feeling of value.




What is value? Value is defined at " a quality that gives something special worth " When I dissect this, Its hard to truly accept that value is derived from others. Why this topic is so important to be because I truly think we are each very very valuable in our own ways, but value truly sits in your heart and in your mind. It's how you feel about yourself...and how you feel about yourself directly links with how you treat others, and how you make others feel.


A lot of people don't know how to feel valuable, because they constantly compare where they are in their life with the way society wants us to be. Society says "be successful, make lots of money, and get married and have kids." Believe me, I know because I am 30 and I am constantly hearing and seeing the pressures around me. The moment we don't complete the American Dream of life at a certain age, we start feeling unworthy of many things like opportunities and even love. This way of thinking inhibits us from being about to be successful....to chase those dreams.


Now, When I say be a woman of value, I am saying this with truth and love. These qualities are what truly will make you feel good about who you are and give you the confidence you need to succeed. They are not dream jobs, or stages in life like " get married by 30" or have kids by 25. Instead, I believe that they are qualities that will truly set you apart from people who are choosing to stay comfortable where they are. They set you apart from any competition because they are internal. Things that can't just happen...they only come through understanding yourself and the world.


I truly feel that these qualities will make you feel unstoppable. They will help you determine the type of people you surround yourself with, and the type of behavior you deserve from your significant other. These qualities will help you make wiser choices that are solely based on YOUR HAPPINESS, instead of the happiness of others.


1. A woman of value makes others feel loved and accepted.

This is one of my favorite qualities...because knowing I am helping others feel good and appreciated, makes me feel good. It's that simple. Especially when someone tells me how much they appreciate the kindness, love and non judgement mentality. It also brings my heart at some sort of level of peace, because I know in order to love others i have to be able to love myself and be comfortable in who I am.


2. A woman of value is confident

Well if you have the ability to make others feel loved, babe you are confident. Making others feel good is such a selfless act. I don't mean that you are taking lots of selfies confident- I mean being able to show love to others and not only that, KNOWING YOUR WORTH in other ways... for example- not letting people treat you terrible, or being able to eliminate toxic people from your life with a snap of your fingers. babe, you are worth good vibes and good people, and people who appreciate and love you. THE END.


3. A woman of value stands up for her beliefs.

Standing up for what you believe in will make people respect you and not take advantage of you. Standing up for things that are apart of you is HUGE. these are things that you feel are important, and somehow these beliefs are apart of who you are. Now, politics is another story that sometimes gets way to heated and brings out a lack sensitivity, so lets put the politics aside...Maybe these are moral beliefs when it comes to dating, or processes or ways, or faith. but if you don't speak for things you truly believe in ( but speak with love, kindness and passion)


4. A woman of value works hard no matter what job is at hand

Sometimes we have to start on the bottom of the totem pole to get to where we want to be. Being a woman of value is understanding that this is vitally important to our growth and success in whatever it is that we want to do. It's knowing that what we are doing now is just temporary to get us until the next spot, and being able to stick it out. It's being able to understand that not all jobs or projects are glamorous, and that it takes hard work and determination to go to the next step. Plus, when you work hard, I'm going to guarantee that your superior or leader will notice. More opportunities will come up, and you'll need a reference or a referral to get to the next step- so just keep that in mind. ;-)


5. A woman of value forgives her enemies & sets boundaries.

The first step to forgiving, is recognizing who your enemies are. Next, is not allowing them to affect your level of happiness. We can only not allow others by affecting our happiness is we truly let the issue or problem go. No more holding onto what someone has done to you. When people treat you a certain way, especially out of hate, we need to recognize it is not YOU, its them, and their inability to work past their own issues. Its insecurities. The best thing we can do for ourselves, is learning to think this way when we are done wrong by others, and still simply be kind, and set boundaries for in the future. We can't change people, but we can change how their behavior affects us. Our goal is to grow, and we cannot grow if we are carrying negative emotions with us to get to the next level.


6. A woman of value is a leader

Being able to think, create or do things others are unwilling to do, will help you stand out professionally. Not only that, others will genuinely look to you and look up to you to possibly change their ways. Being a leader doesn't mean you need to change the world, or go in and take over at your job.....maybe your home in out of order and it needs someone to take charge to have a new routine so its easier on everyone else. Maybe meals are a huge deal in your household, and stepping up to the job of planning out meals and cooking certain days would help make things easier for you and your family. It could be simple, it could be complex, just know that stepping forward and being a positive role model in any aspect of life is something people will genuinely admire and appreciate you for.


7. A woman of value is positive

being positive will set your success for the day. No matter what life throws at you, do not give in to feeling helpless. We all will have bad days, and hard days, and days where we cry. It's okay. It's life and it's not always easy and positive. If we can simply learn to change our mindset to not sit in worry or anxiety, than our life would be a little easier. Not only that, but being positive is SO CONTAGIOUS. Imagine walking into your office with a coffee for you and 3 other co workers. The one co worker has been low on money, and you buying that coffee for her meant the world. The other co-worker has been fighting with his wife, but your ability to have on positive act of kindness, helped make is day better. You never know what people are going through, but being able to wake up set your mind up for success...and maybe make someones day is far better than waking up feeling helpless.


Some ways I've learned to be more positive- wake up earlier so I have plenty of time to get ready, read or write and enjoy my coffee. Feeling rushed definitely puts me in a bad mood, so i try to do what I can to avoid it. LOL.


8. A woman of value has dreams & goals

You are a human being, and you deserve to dream and reach goals. I mean besides Faith, Isn't that what life is about? The first of the year is such a great time for this, because we really tend to think about things we want to change about ourselves and our lives, and then we work on them. But, if you haven't really given it some thought, I challenge you to sit down....write down 5 short term goals, and 5 long term goals. Be specific ( traveling more does not count...how about naming a place you want to travel to)


Short term goals are things you would like to accomplish in the next 1-3 years, and long term is usually 4+ years. For example, short term goal for me is to Grow my business ( so no more bartending) and go to Rome/Greece and a Long term goal for more is writing a book & PAYING OFF STUDENT LOANS.


These goals are what are going to drive us to feel successful in our own ways. Being able to do the things that we can check off our list, will help us be more positive and help make life more meaningful; knowing we are working towards something and constantly looking for something else to work for is such a hugely satisfying feeling.


9. A woman of value evolves & grows.

I am a true believer in being able to understand weaknesses and insecurities and being able to grow and mature so I can be my best. It is so important that we work through our hardships, trauma and pain so we can continue to succeed in whatever opportunities come our way. For me, some of my pain and hardships required me to go to counseling. It really helped me to understand myself better and my behavior so that I could try to understand and change my reactions. I would not be where I was in my life now, if I hadn't worked through some pain that I had carried ( even as a child).


On a simpler note, being a woman of value, you are constantly teaching yourself things and growing your knowledge. Maybe you love fitness and always thought about getting your personal training certification, or maybe you already have it, but want to be able to help people in other ways with more education. This is such a huge part of our lives, because we need to constantly be teaching ourselves things not only for us and others, but so we are irreplaceable and successful anywhere in life. I can stress enough how important this is. Especially when life throws us lemons...you know it happens to the best of it. It's always good to have something else to be good at, in case our plan A would not work.


10. A woman of value knows when to say NO.

I think this is the quality I still struggle with. I constantly give into others, but I end up sitting on the back burner. I will say yes to others, and feel so burnt out by the end of the week that I end up getting sick. I KNOW, I KNOW....NOT GOOD.


I have been learning to say no more often. Instead of saying yes to satisfy others, I say no, because i know its going to make my life more difficult. Being able to say no, will help set the tone with how people treat you and talk to you AND respect you. When you say yes all the time, it almost prompts people to take advantage of you....not because they really mean to hurt you and use you, but because you seem so willing to do whatever. Our goal isn't to feel used, or like door mats. Our goal is to feel mentally strong, confident and happy, and we can only do that when we look out for OURSELVES. But yourself first, do things that make you happy. If you have an appointment that runs into your gym workout, reschedule that appointment. Especially if working out is important to you.



Now Believe it!

Repeat after me.


I am UNSTOPPABLE! I am a woman of value not because of how society views me, but because of who i am and what i stand for, and how i make others feel. I am valuable in my own ways, and there is no one else out there like me. These are qualities that will take me anywhere I want to go in life and with faith, handwork and a positive mindset... i can change my life in whatever way I need to. I am in control of my life, and I determine the outcomes. I choose happiness from here on out, and to live my life with passion & kindness so i can lead and be a light so others can see their own individual value.


Start each morning with an affirmation, and watch your life become more positive. Watch your daily routine become more meaningful.



Thanks for reading!

Lets help women feel valuable..please share

-Steph




37 views0 comments